Street Fighter’s, Sakura Graduates From High School

And now works part time at an arcade! Check out what she does with her free time below.

 

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Mount Rushmore of Villains

We here at BFN take pride in our trend setting and trail blazing. For this one however; we will take a common big city slicker jouranlist trick and give you a good ole’ fashion Mount Rushmore. Today we will tackle the Rushmore of video game villains.

Without further ado here are the four worst villains in video game history:

Mario Mario:

I know this one comes as shocker. “He’s a hero right?” “He’s saving Peach though”. One, he is not a hero and two you’re an idiot for saying that. We already went over in small detail about his relationship with Pauline (or Paula) and saving her from Donkey Kong (can read about the follow up to that here.

Now he focuses on Peach? Did he forget about Pauline? Is he trying to double dip? Seems a little unethical. Infidelity aside he also on multiple occasions have murdered goombas, koopa troopas and other various animals of the Mushroom Kingdom. Surely this type of animal abuse in todays society should not be looked up to or be considered heroic. Finally Mario Mario has at various points destroyed many castles in the kingdom by blowing them up. I don’t much but that to me that sounds a lot like domestic terrorism.

Any Trainer in Pokémon: 

This one is much simpler; these trainers forcefully caputre and enslave Pokémon for the use of fighting. Much like that plumber from before we have established that animal abuse is evil and it is worse here. They use these Pokémon to fight battles for glory, fame and money. They set up an essential dog fighting economy and we here at BFN frown upon that.

Nathan Drake:

Up next is Sony pretty boy Nathan Drake. He’s cool, charming and also kinda an A*shole. Let’s take a look at his “heroics”: Plans on stealing priceless artifacts, has been involved in dangerous shootouts that put innocent civilians in danger, destroyed hidden temples and history and like our main man Mario seemed to be a womanizer (although he has since cleaned that up). I’m sure hes kicked a dog sometime (that is alleged).

Dr. Robotnik: 

Finally is the mastermind who seeks the Chaos Emeralds. He puts cute innocent animals in robots to do his bidding. That’s just wrong.

 Feel free to comment below with your own Mount Rushmore.

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Overwatch GOTY Edition up for GOTY at This Years Video Game Awards

HOMEBASE (BFN) In an unprecedented move it was announced just now that Overwatch: Game of the Year Edition will be nominated for Game of the Year.

They will go up against Super Mario Odyssey, Legend of Zelda: The Breath of the Wild, Horizon Zero Dawn, Persona 5 and PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds (and maybe Cuphead?)

This will most likely lead to controversy especially if they were to win.

More on this story as it unfolds.

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Lavar Ball To Join Injustice 2

Lavar Ball, father of Los Angles Lakers Lonzo Ball, will be joining Injustice 2.

However, Lavar Ball will not be a playable character. Instead Mr. Ball will now be the default opponent for the practice mode.

If you haven’t done so already, now seems like the perfect time to pick up Injustice 2.

 

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Winter Solider Joins Capcom

Bucky Barnes aka the Winter Solider has announced via twitter that he will be officially leaving the Marvel Universe to join Capcom.

Below you will see that the change has already taken place in the game Marvel vs Capcom: Infinite.

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Looks like Bucky has returned to his two bit traitorous ways.

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11 Things You Need To Know About Mega Man 11

Mega Man 11 has taken the world by storm, here are the top eleven things you need to know for the upcoming game.

1) Mega Man Will Remain Blue

2) Mega Man will be able to change into “flight mode”. This “flight mode” will resemble a mobile suit.

3) Rush, Mega Man’s trusty sidekick will be replaced by Bumblebee from Transformers.

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4) Megan Fox will portray Roll.

5) The final boss will be Ganondorf.

6) Mega Man will need to be charged prior to operating.

7) Dr. Willy’s Castle now has an open concept floor plan, with sliding glass windows, and a couples en suite.

8) Mighty No.9 won’t be in because…well, because he’s dead.

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9) The music will, BANG!

10) Capcom will fuck something up.

11) With every eleventh copy of the game sold, a random customer will receive a free ouija board.

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The Return of Pablo Sanchez

Many hours of gaming in the late 90’s was spent dominating games of Backyard Baseball with one character. The boy, the myth, the legend, Pablo Sanchez. Pablo Sanchez was quite simply the best player in the game with nobody else even coming close to his pure dominance.

Today, the MLB is receiving quite low ratings. America’s Favorite Past time is becoming, well, a thing of the past. In an attempt to bring America back to baseball, the MLB has decided to create a robot with the exact traits of Pablo Sanchez.

Pablo is to be implemented into the 2019 season and to play for the Philadelphia Phillies. Gamers who enjoyed Backyard Baseball will surely enjoy The Show when it updates the rosters to have Pablo Sanchez.

This innovation will bring life back into the sport of baseball, as well as baseball video games. It is truly revolutionary.

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Breaking News: New Carmen Sandiego Game Revealed

New York, NY (BFN) Reports have surfaced indicating that a brand new Carmen Sandiego game will be hitting the shelves in early 2019.

Carmen Sandiego, the original creator of video messages, was the main antagonist of a computer game franchise which shared the same namesake as her. The franchise remained highly popular for a number of years, even creating successful spinoffs such as a television show.

We reached out to Ms. Sandiego for a word, but we can’t seem to find where in the world she is.

 

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Fifa ’18 Officials Currently Being Investigated for Corruption

REAL JOB [BFN] With the recent drawing of groups for the 2018 World Cup in Russia, the World is once again excited and in love with Joga Bonito (or Soccer as it is more commonly known). This was short lived due to the officials of Fifa once again having the spotlight put on them.

The word coming down after a roughly two month investigation is that the officials in the latest installment of the Fifa franchise are now being investigated for corruption. The charges seem to stem from “calling bulls**t fouls” to flat out “cheating”.

These allegations were first brought up when an Xbox One user by the name of “MessiRoom02” came forward to BFN to compalin about the officiating in the game after a four to nil loss during a game against the CPU. They stated that: “This game is cheating. These refs never give me any calls and always call a foul on my players. This is complete bul**sh*t.” When asked by us if they believe the officials are truly corrupt or maybe it was the players not playing up to par. MessiRoom02 became angry and made several claims to having sexual relations with our reporters mother.

More on this story as it develops.

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New Holiday Overwatch Feature: Too Early?

Lucio, Overwatch’s friendly support hero who skates around playing his favorite music, decided to incorporate some holiday cheer into his battles.

Lucio switched his from his usual music to Christmas music to celebrate the upcoming holiday season. Instead of his tunes, he will now be bumping, “Jingle Bells” while in battle. Oh, but don’t worry,  this is only during his Speed Boost. When Lucio is healing his fellow heroes, “All I Want for Christmas is You” plays.

Many heroes, such as Tracer, Mercy, and even Reaper, are enthusiastic about this change. They love the holiday season and can’t wait to celebrate.

Others, like Soldier 76 and McCree, are furious. They already hated Lucio’s music and this is much worse for them. They believe that Christmas music is to be played on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. That’s it.

Many think that the people opposed to Lucio’s new music are actually on the Naughty List.

Is Lucio’s celebrating Christmas a little too early? We don’t think so. Party on, Lucio.

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xXxSniperGhostWarriorxXx Resigns Amidst Sexual Harassment Allegations

xXxSniperGhostWarriorxXx, from lan, Toolz will resign from his position as Vice President due to allegations of sexual harassment.

The allegations were brought to the President of the Toolz clan, who is actually xXxSniperGhostWarriorxXx’s mother. She had this to say,

“I am deeply saddened by this revelation. I don’t know why he would behave in such a grotesque fashion. I would think he would be more respectful of women, I mean he has an older sister, a younger sister, and a girlfriend! I just don’t, I just don’t know.

Many of the allegations accuse xXxSniperGhostWarriorxXx  ofmaking obscene and crude remarks to females via Xbox Live. Four of the claims came from fellow clan mates who recall xXxSniperGhostWarriorxXx direct messaging them nude pictures of himself and his action figures.

 

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Sly Cooper’s Tips For Holiday Shopping

Holiday shopping can be tough, especially on your wallet. That’s why we reached out to our favorite raccoon for some holiday shopping tips to make sure you get the best discount around…the five finger kind.

Here are Sly Cooper’s Tips for Holiday “Shopping”.

1) Bring a Van

Storage is key. You want to be able to bring all the stuff you get at stores back to your secret hideout.

2) Proper Gear

If you plan on succeeding, then make sure to come well equipped. You’ll need some type of camo, black paint or a mask to disguise your face, and of course a cane.

3) Friends

A heist is only as good as the people behind it. First you’ll need someone to operate the van as a getaway driver. You’ll also need someone who is good with computers. You know, hacking and all that. Both will be vital to your approach as well as your escape.

4) A Potato Sack

This will obviously be used to stash your loot.

5) Act Quick and Make Sure No One is Looking

At the very moment you “buy” your item, take a quick glance around the room to make sure no one is looking. Then stash it into you potato sack as quick as possible.

There you have it, a comprehensive guide to holiday shopping from none other then, Sly Cooper.

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Steam Sales- Everything is $69

This past cyber Monday, instead of offering the usual sales, Steam decided to round off every price to a clean $69.

This is lower for some games but much higher for some, as in, free games being sold now for $69. Some fans rejoiced, as games and all their bundles were being sold at $40 cheaper than usual, but some decided to just wait until this sale was over to download free games.

“Heh, sixty-nine.” Steam CEO stated, after being asked about the increase.

Does Steam CEO is gay? Even if he is, we still love and support Steam and hope that they’re comfortable coming out of the closet.

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Overwatch Thanksgiving Ruined

Every year for Thanksgiving, the Overwatch crew joins together to give thanks to each other. However, this year was not like the others.

While gathering around the table, each hero had the task of saying what other hero they were thankful for and why. Zenyatta thanked Orisa for her shield, and Orisa thanked Zenyatta for healing her.

Things, “went south,” as McCree likes to say, once it got to Genji. Genji thanked Mercy for always reviving him, and Mercy thanked Genji for always running too far behind enemy lines and getting her killed because she was trying to heal him.

Genji stood on top of the Thanksgiving table and drew his sword, touching the tip of his blade to Mercy’s nose. “I do not want any lip from you, pretty girl.”

Roadhog, frustrated about having to wait even longer to demolish mounds of turkey and stuffing, drew his gun and blasted Genji’s sword right out of his hands. This resulted in an all out brawl between various heroes, letting their anger out after years of frustration from working together.

The Brawl ended with no casualties, but the mood was dark and grim. Black Friday had started at the Overwatch Thanksgiving at just 6pm on Thursday. Some heroes say this is way too early, and just about everyone in the world agrees.

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E.T. re-release announced for the Atari Jaguar

After the outstanding success of the original E.T. for the Atari 2600, the creators of the game have decided to make a re-release, with updated graphics and the same bugs – just for the Atari Jaguar.

“We weren’t going to re-invent the wheel on this one, we just wanted to acknowledge the success of the original game by updating it and porting it to a slightly newer system.” Head Developer Tyler Ryler stated.

The game still has the same, pit-falling glitches as ever, same people hunting you down, and same level of difficulty, just in amazing 64 bits with the Atari Jaguar.

Do the Math!

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PSA: The New Bench Is Finished

Isabelle, chief secretary to the Mayor released a memo announcing that the latest Public Works Project has been completed.

The long awaited bench took much longer then expected. The project was initially supposed to take a mere two weeks, however due to the anti-sitting party,  was on the back burner for nearly two months.

Despite the delay, the bench was pushed through in the 11th hour by our honorable Mayor.

According to the memo, the public reveal of the bench will be at 3 pm, this Friday. Let us know if you’ll be there!

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Team Rocket to Vacation in Alola This Year

SAFFRON KANTO (BFN) With the release of Pokemon Ultra Sun and Moon (Pokemon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon?) today it seems the islands of Alola have become quite popular for tourists and Pokefans alike. It has become so popular that even the evil (subjective) organization Team Rocket has decided to take over the Alolan Islands.

Team Rocket will be making their way to Alola this fall but it appears it is not for business but rather pleasure. Locals of the Melemele Island noted that members of Team Rocket have appeared in droves but were not equipped with Ekans or Zubats but instead had pool tubes and sunblock. one local who wished to remain anonymous stated: “all these funny looking guys and gals who were dressed the same started showing up looking for hotel rooms or places to eat. It was quite fascinating and I was unaware that this was an evil organization from the Kanto and Johto regions.” they also went on to say: “look, they don’t seem like bad guys to me. They’re respectful, clean up after themselves and are helping local businesses.”

We here at BFN reached out to Team Rocket for comment and received a statement by one of their executives Proton: “we here at Team Rocket decided that it was time to give our employees a break. They work so hard all year to make our organization what it is and are the very backbone of this operation. So we here made a decision to reward all the hard work with a nice tropical vacation to Alola. This is by no means a ploy to obtain new Pokemon or attempt any kind of hostile takeover. I have said all that is needed to be said and I hope they enjoy the time off.”

We reached out to the leader Giovanni for comments but were unsuccessful in our attempts.

More on this story as it develops.  

 

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Just Dance Listened, and They Responded

In the new Just Dance release- Just Dance 2018, they listened to the fans demands for more international music and added in another model in a frog costume.

“After a lot of deliberation with my team, we decided that adding another frog costume was the best choice. Frogs are great, and we love to take feedback from the fans, so we hope this makes everyone happy.” The lead designer for Just Dance stated.

We can expect to see this new frog dancer in “Seventy percent of all the dances.”

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Battlefront 2 Might Give You Chlamydia

New reports have surfaced indicating that not only does Battlefront 2 put a hurting on your finances, but apparently also on your genitals

Many of the players who picked up BattleFront 2 yesterday and have not stopped playing since, are reported to have been experiencing many of the symptoms normally associated with chlamydia, such as

  • pain or burning while peeing
  • abnormal vaginal discharge
  • pus or a watery/milky discharge from the penis
  • swollen or tender testicles
  • pain, discharge and/or bleeding around the anus

If you are experiencing these symptoms we highly recommend you stop taking to twitter to tweet your symptoms and go see your doctor.

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EA To Change Initials To MT

BattleFront 2 publisher, Electronic Arts seems to be embracing the dark side as they have announced to change their logo to the initials MT.

The change comes just a day after the horrendous release of Star Wars: BattleFront 2. We reached out to EA for a word and only received a telegram that stated the following,

“You can not kill a Sith.”

The initials MT will stand for Micro-Transactions.

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EA Linked To President John F. Kennedy Assassination

As if things could not get any worse for EA, the video game publisher has now been linked to the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.

Reports have surfaced from a new eye witness who was apparently in Texas during the morning of the shooting.

“I saw EA on the grassy knoll,” claims this eye witness. For the safety we can not release the identify of the eye witness by name, but he will mention that they are indeed blind.

Regardless, it seems like this is just the beginning of trouble for publisher Electronic Arts.

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Battlefront Flops

Star Wars: Battlefront 2 has had some abysmal reviews, mostly due to its pay-to-play game strategy, on top of the $80 fee to buy the game.

We’ve rounded up some of the reviews from fellow gamers:

“Why would they make you pay to unlock Luke? That’s like paying to have bread on your sandwich.”

“So, I can either pay over one hundred dollars to complete the game ASAP, or delve 1,000 hours into a mediocre game. I’d rather see Trump naked.”

“Another shooter? Amazing.”

“I think I could have made a better put-together game when I was in college, after a 3 day bender, after I broke up with my girlfriend.”

“ET for the Atari was a better game.”

 

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EA Promises Battlefront 4 Will Be Worth Your Money

It in a shocking turn of events BattleFront 2 is being met with severe backlash from fans and news outlets alike.

Much of the beef seems to stem from the “pay to play” method. However, a top EA executive has reached out to us in order to spread the word that EA will be attempting to make amends. He had the following to say,

“I know everyone is a little upset right now, but look we promise Battlefront 4 will be worth $60. On top of that I can assure you that we will consider a lower amount of micro transactions.”

Well there you have it folks, a sincere apology and promise for a better future from EA. Be on the look out for Battlefront 4!

No word on Battlefront 3 however.

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Former Ninja Turtle, Venus Vows to Never Play Injustice Again

Yesterday, the folks over at NetherRealm Studios unveiled a trailer for Injustice Fighter Pack number 3. The trailer showcased new additions, The Atom, The Enchantress, and The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the last of which caught many by surprise, including former TMNT, Venus.

Having not made an appearance in any TMNT related material since her very conception in the television series, Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation, Venus has long remained in the shadows. Although, she did make a brief appearance in Power Rangers in Space.

However, being excluded from joining the roster for Injustice 2 seems to have been the last straw as she subsequently took to her Facebook page and posted the following,

“F**K Injustice and F**K NetherRealm.”

The anger seems to stem from the fact that Venus is actually a massive fan of the Injustice and Mortal Kombat games, another NetherRealm IP.

“How could they do this to me,” Venus continued. “I’ve been playing their games since I was mostly made up of shell.”

Venus ended her post by vowing to never play another NetherRealm property again,

“I am urging all my fans to please boycott NetherRealm. I will never play another one of their games ever AGAIN!”

 

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Nathan Drake ‘Cautious’ About Upcoming Uncharted Movie

“I’m thrilled by the fact that they want to do a movie about me, but I’m cautious, that’s all I’m saying,” tweeted Nathan Drake.

For those of you who have been in Shambhala for the past several years, Drake is referring to the movie adaptation that has been on again, off again for the past several years.

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“I’m also confused or rather interested by the direction they have chosen to go with this adaptation,” Drake added.

The treasure hunter is most likely referring to the decision to showcase a much younger version of Drake, a version that will now be portrayed by Spider-Man actor, Tom Holland.

“But kudos to Tom, he’s a great actor and I’m excited to see what he will make of me.”

Our sentiments exactly, Nathan.

 

 

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Player’s Family Sues PLAYERUNKOWN Over Faulty Parachute

On the morning of November 10, an innocent player of PLAYERUNKNOWN’s BATTLEGROUNDS plunged into the earth after jumping from an airplane. The player was given the standard parachute, but unfortunately was unable to release the chute.

The player’s teammates heard their screams of terror as his parachute was unable to open. The player smashed into the ground and broke every bone in their body. His teammate’s attempted to revive him, but his fragile body was soon put to an end by a man equipped with a smoke grenade and a frying pan.

The mother of the player has since filed a lawsuit against PLAYERUNKNOWN for the death of her child.

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Xur Has Gone Missing

Xur, the Destiny vendor known for bringing the best in exotic goods has gone missing.

Known for popping up in various places over the course of a weekend, Xur has not shown up to any of his usual spots.

Some reports suggest that Xur may have died in a tragic scuba accident, however these are mostly just rumors for now.

We will update this post, if we have any more information on Xur’s whereabouts.

 

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Breaking News: Lara Croft Is A Person of Interest In Missing Butler Case

SOMEWHERE – (BFN) Local police have just revealed that Lara Croft is officially a person of interest in the case of the missing butler, Winston Smith.

The case started nearly 20 years ago when Croft family Butler was reported missing by Ms. Croft herself. The search for Winston has been ongoing with no new developments ever since.

Now as for Ms.Croft, being declared as a person of interest does raise some eyebrows. However officially the term is usually used to refer to someone who has not been arrested or accused of a crime. Although unofficially, it could be indicative of something larger at play.

Over the years many have defended Croft as she could not have harmed Winston has he was like a “father figure” to her.

According to Lara, Winston was last seen near the freezer.

 

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Bayek Fires Back At Altaïr

Last week we detailed famed assassin, Altaïr ‘s discontent with Assassin’s Creed: Origins. Well, Bayek did not take too kindly to Altaïr ‘s words and has responded saying,

“Altaïr is an ignorant fool. He may have been in the first Assassin’s Creed game, but I am the first Assassin. There is no Altaïr without Bayek,” Bayek continued, “Altaïr is a failure much like his descendant Desmond.”

Harsh words from Bayek, however he does have a point. Bayek is an assassin during the Ptolemaic period which significantly predates the third crusade, the age in which Altaïr  reigned supreme.

However the slight about Desmond is certainly a low blow, especially considering that there is a possibility that Bayek himself might be related to Desmond as well.

Make sure to check back for the latest on the Bayek, Altaïr beef.

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NBA 2K18: No Basketballs?

NBA 2K18 came out not too long ago, but the franchise’s newest installment seems to be missing one major thing: basketballs.

“The decision to drop basketballs was not an easy decision.” Head developer, John Doe, stated. “But we felt like it wasn’t an important aspect of the game, so, to save space, we got rid of them.”

“Without basketballs, this game is a lot simpler. I don’t have to worry about traveling anymore, only fouling.” gamer Kobe Bryant stated.

While it still seems like a questionable decision to remove basketballs in a basketball game, NBA 2K18 seems to be doing fairly well without it, outselling Destiny 2 in its first week.

The game now consists of running up and down the court, pushing over other players, and yelling, “Kobe,” while shooting imaginary basketballs.

Will they keep this feature for the next installments? Will basketballs now be its own DLC? Only time will tell.

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Tom Nook Arrested for Thievery

Tom Nook was arrested last night by the Chicago PD for embezzling funds from locals, with promise of a house in a new campsite he was building.

“I didn’t quite get why a raccoon wanted my money, but he seemed trustworthy and promised me a house, so I gave him some money.” A victim of the raccoon’s stated. “He got mad when I handed him paper money, demanding that I pay him in bells, but I didn’t have any bells on me.”

Tom Nook is not a local of Chicago, but was in the Windy City in hopes of furthering his mortgaging business.

“He offered to hire me part-time in his store, but I didn’t think I would fit inside of a tiny store like that. Plus, he only offered to pay me in bells, but bells are only for the holidays.” Another victim stated.

Tom nook 3

Two other younger raccoons were found to be working with our offender, following around Nook’s victims and offering to sell them items from their store.

“It’s odd that these raccoons spoke English,” stated an officer working on the case

Nook was taken into custody for further questioning and has a court date set later this month, with a deportation date soon after. The younger raccoons were sent home to their mother, as they were found to be juveniles.

We reached out to Nook for further comment, but have yet to hear back from him.

We hope that this raccoon can sort out his life and get back on the right track.

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Breaking News: Sonic Permanently Banned From NYC Marathon

NEW YORK, NY (BFN) –  Hours after the final runner crossed the finish line, reports have surfaced that Sonic the Hedgehog has been permanently banned from the New York City Marathon.

More then 50,000 runners from around the world partook in today’s 47th TCS New York City Marathon, a marathon which saw the first American female winner in over 40 years. Another particpate in the marathon was none other then famed hedgehog and mascot, Sonic the Hedgehog.

The event, which mostly took place without a hiccup, was under the watchful eye of the NYPD. It was New York’s finest who had noticed a “blue streak” popping up on their radars.

“Yeah, this blue streak just kept popping up on our radars. At first we thought it was  some sort of malfunction, but it was appearing on all our systems. It felt like it was on loop. Only later, did he realize it was Sonic.”

Sonic was finally apprehended by the boys in blue when he stopped to pickup a chaos emerald. The NYPD added,

“Sonic was completely cooperative and we’re extremely grateful for that.”

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However, the NYC Marathon committee was not as appreciative,

“After speaking to the perpetrator and taking a look at NYPD footage we have decided to permanently ban Mr.Hedgehog from participating in the NYC Marathon from here on out. If you looke closely at the radar he must have finished the race at least 100 times and there is no way that is possible without being on some sort of performance enhancer or possessing superhuman abilities, both of which are clearly not allowed according to the NYC Marathon rule book.”

We took a look at the rule book for ourselves, and it does indeed mention that those with superhuman abilities are not allowed to participate.

We reached out to Sonic, but have yet to hear back from him.

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3 Things You Need To Know About Call of Duty: WWII

If you’re still on the fence about picking up the latest iteration in the Call of Duty franchise, here are three things you need to know before purchasing WWII.

 

It Comes With Homework

Each copy of Call of Duty: WWII comes with a mandatory five page essay. The assignment requires you to outline the key events leading up to World War II. Essays are due within two weeks of purchase and must be sent to Activision headquarters in California. Postage is not included and late assessments will be marked down 10%.

 

It Will Give You Déjà Vu

Early reports from players show that a large number of players are experiencing déjà vu. Which of course is the phenomenon of having the feeling that the situation currently being experienced has already been experienced in the past.

 

Your Internet Connection Will Suffer

Another report coming from Call of Duty:WWII players suggest that the game is causing inexplicable lag. Multiple players, almost too many too count have stated, “the only reason I’m dying is because of lag”.

 

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Cappy is worse than Toad: Here’s Why

Cappy is Mario’s new companion, best friend, and well, stalker in Mario Odyssey. But, have we forgotten all about our original, sometimes-hated, sometimes-loved companion, Toad? Here’s the thing – Cappy is a lot worse of a “friend” than Toad is.

For starters, Mario knows Princess Peach, obviously. The only reason that Mario ever helps the Toads is because he wants to see his true love again, which is understandable. Cappy, however, is looking for his little sister, whom Mario isn’t familiar with, but Mario agrees to help out of the kindness of this little plumber heart.

He possesses Mario’s hat, which has been a favorite of Mario’s, and, subsequently, a favorite of the players’, altering something that we’ve all grown to love and recognize. And not only does Cappy possess Mario’s hat, he’s able to possess other creatures, letting Mario control the creature’s body.

You know what else can possess bodies? Demons.

While Cappy may have “cooler” abilities than Toad, Toad’s never done anything worse than redirect you constantly to different castles and use Mario to get the princess back – and be a bit of an annoyance (that squeaky voice!)

We forgive Toad for his sins, but seizing Mario’s hat, possessing other creatures, forcing Mario to help him find his sister? And if Cappy puts himself on things he possesses… could he be possessing Mario as well?

Cappy is an evil “friend” and we genuinely hope Mario can return to the less-worse Toad.

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Call of Duty: WWII New Game Mode

A new game mode dubbed, “Kamikaze” was revealed during the launch of Call of Duty: WWII.

The new game mode draws its name from the tactic used by the Empire of Japan during WWII. The “Divine Wind” as it is also known, involved Japanese pilots flying their aircraft directly into allied personal.

Similarly, the new game mode allows several servers to crash, effectively disabling enemy players from taking part in Call of Duty: WWII.

 

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Retro Review: Pokémon HeartGold

Here at BFN we strive to inform the public on all new cutting edge games, platforms and technologies. There is however; a world of gaming that has existed well before our inception(and here I thought we were the beginning).

This weekly review will be our platform into this uncharted territory. This review will take the reader for a ride to the past and will review the games that the so called “gaming journalist” seem to have forgotten or refuse to review because they are “older games”(we here do not discriminate based on age).

These reviews will be based on a three part criteria: first will be a letter grade for the overall game itself. That includes: graphics, gameplay, controls, story and replay value. The next will be based on a likert 1-10 scale on couchability. This is my personal rating system of how long you can sit on your couch and play the game. The final is my overall grade from bad to good and any in between.

With that said the first review will be Pokémon HeartGold and SoulSilver for Nintendo DS. For the sake of time I will only be reviewing Pokémon HeartGold today and may do Pokémon SoulSilver later. Pokémon HeartGold or PoGold for short, was released way back on September 12th, 2009. This is another successful game in the Pokémon franchise and follows the pattern of battling gym leaders to collect badges and exploring the wide world meeting and catching new Pokémon with the intention of proving you are the very best like no one ever was. That is where the biggest flaw with Gold lays; this game feels so familiar as though I have played it before. It is so similar to Pokemon Gold for the Gameboy that was released 10 years prior! The graphics are great and the story will keep you invested. The different type of Pokémon to catch and train creates variability and certain challenges for the game. Gold is difficult and fun and is for children as well as adults (also the elderly cause again, we do not believe in ageism).

Still the biggest problem with Gold is that this game feels like I’ve played it before and feels like a lazy attempt by Game Freak to cash in on another Pokémon game. I mean even the Pokémon cities and gym leaders were the same. There were different Pokémon available in this game and some battles are different but is that enough to separate it as its own game? This is the answer I have been asking myself for over eight years now.

With all of that said again, these are my scores for Gold (or Pokémon HeartGold):

Overall: A-. Graphics are great, gameplay is fun and interactive. Story is compelling and hooks you in from the beginning. Game is difficult at times and I hate cows.

Couchability: N/A. It is for a portable game console so I did not spend much time on my couch.

Baked Grade: Great. It is fun and difficult at the same time. Is full of nostalgia and is very addicting. Problem is it feels like it has been done before and can be repetitive.

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Altaïr Pissed At Assassin’s Creed Origins

Reports from Damascus indicate that famed assassin, Altaïr has issues with the latest moniker in the Assassin’s Creed franchise.

Assassin’s Creed Origins gets its name from the fact that it is indeed an origins story intended to depict the very ‘origin’ of the conflict between the Brotherhood of Assassins and The Order of the Ancients.

However, this does not seem to matter to Altaïr as our sources indicate that Assassin is “highly offended” with the “Origins” aspect of Assassin’s Creed Origins. Apparently this has been bothering Altaïr for quite some time and he has now officially cut all ties with Ubisoft. Which is a lot better then being cut down by Altaïr.

As the “father” of the Assassins’ Creed franchise, one could hardly blame Altaïr for what he surely sees as blatant disrespect and negligence on the part of Ubisoft.

We’ve reached out to both Altaïr and Ubisoft for a word, but we’ve yet to hear back.

 

 

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Hanzo Facing Potential Life Sentence

At approximately 7:30pm on Wednesday, Hanzo released an arrow said to have the power of “over 9000 dragons,” into the atmosphere. Hanzo was taken into custody after consulting a stranger about what to do. The stranger happened to be an undercover police officer who arrested Hanzo on the spot.

The arresting officer was interviewed this morning, stating, “There’s a huge potential of damage that could be done. This careless act has the potential to take down soldiers, armies, and even nations. The fate of our world is at stake right now thanks to this man.”

Hanzo made a reply to the officer, saying that “The circumstances of this event are being blown out of proportion. The events stated are not even possibilities. I should not be in jail right now.”

It is shocking how careless and inconsiderate a man who wields such power could be.

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Ana’s Candy: Curse or Blessing?

Reports from Egypt have claimed that Overwatch’s Ana has been distributing candy to trick-or-treaters that has been instantly putting them to sleep.

While this may seem irrational and dangerous, one parent claims that Ana’s candy “has made this the best Halloween ever.”

While a few parents have been quite furious about the instant snoozing of their children, many parents are exhilarated by the early end of their quest for candy.

Flocks of children began to arise in protest after their naps, but they were quickly put to rest by more candy.

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Fans Protest In Response To Microsoft Discontinuing The Kinect

It was revealed earlier today, that Microsoft will officially cease production of The Kinect. The move did not go well with the any of ten Kinect users.

One of which, a Thomas Henry tweeted,

“If there is no more Kinect, how will I win in Madden?”

The tweet most likely refers to a major flaw present in The Kinect that was put on display by Microsoft during a TV spot.

Another passionate Kinect user started a petition on Change.org in order to reverse Mircosoft’s decision. He even added a stipulation, stating that he will not use his Kinect until The Kinect is brought back.

 

 

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Review: Marvel vs Capcom: Infinite

Our Decree: Blow That Cash!

Marvel vs Capcom: Infinite hits stores September 19th and if you’re anything like us, then you will definitely want to pick up this gem. It is worth noting however, that although Marvel vs Capcom: Infinite will be available tomorrow, the true iteration of this game, probably dubbed something like Ultimate or Supreme Marvel vs Capcom: Infinite, will likely be available in 7 – 10 months from now, but who cares about that hogwash!

Granted that version of the game will definitely have improved fighting mechanics,  a cheaper price tag and contain a host of new characters, but hey here at BFN, we love to blow our hard earned money on an incomplete game. I mean we absolutely love the premise of  rewarding developers and publishers for withholding content only to be released as DLC later.

Also, having been massive fans of the previous Marvel vs Capcom titles we completely love the decision to remove franchise staples such as Wolverine, Storm, and Magneto. Oh and lets not forget about that amazing Collector’s Edition.

 

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Review: Destiny 2

Our Decree: Wait To Purchase!

You should wait to purchase Destiny 2. A more complete, fleshed out iteration of this game will be released in just a few years. It will contain more content and have less bugs. More so, it will be less expensive than the current game.

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Expert Says Call Of Duty: WW2-Themed PS4 Can Be Used In Actual Combat 

Just a a few days ago the PlayStationBlog revealed a Call of Duty: WW2 military camo themed PlayStation 4. Now according to our camouflage expert and coffee intern, Vlade, the PS4 is designed well enough to be used in actual combat.

“I mean yeah, if this was placed in a grassy field in the middle of nowhere, I can see a lot of people accidentally stepping on it.  You could probably even just strap a bunch of these to your chest and blend right in.”

We reached out to Sony for a comment on the possible uses of these specially themed PS4 outside of gaming, but we’ve yet to hear back. The Call of Duty: WW2 themed PS4 will be available on November 3.

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Character DLC Revealed For Injustice 2

NetherRealm has just unveiled a new character for the popular fighting game, Injustice 2.

The new character is a lesser known villain from the DC Universe simply known as DLC. DLC is known for his uncanny ability to be readily available, but not join the fight until he sees fit, rob you of your hard earned money, and create confines to the existing game.

DLC will be available as DLC in just a few weeks.

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