Fifa ’18 Officials Currently Being Investigated for Corruption

REAL JOB [BFN] With the recent drawing of groups for the 2018 World Cup in Russia, the World is once again excited and in love with Joga Bonito (or Soccer as it is more commonly known). This was short lived due to the officials of Fifa once again having the spotlight put on them.

The word coming down after a roughly two month investigation is that the officials in the latest installment of the Fifa franchise are now being investigated for corruption. The charges seem to stem from “calling bulls**t fouls” to flat out “cheating”.

These allegations were first brought up when an Xbox One user by the name of “MessiRoom02” came forward to BFN to compalin about the officiating in the game after a four to nil loss during a game against the CPU. They stated that: “This game is cheating. These refs never give me any calls and always call a foul on my players. This is complete bul**sh*t.” When asked by us if they believe the officials are truly corrupt or maybe it was the players not playing up to par. MessiRoom02 became angry and made several claims to having sexual relations with our reporters mother.

More on this story as it develops.

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New Holiday Overwatch Feature: Too Early?

Lucio, Overwatch’s friendly support hero who skates around playing his favorite music, decided to incorporate some holiday cheer into his battles.

Lucio switched his from his usual music to Christmas music to celebrate the upcoming holiday season. Instead of his tunes, he will now be bumping, “Jingle Bells” while in battle. Oh, but don’t worry,  this is only during his Speed Boost. When Lucio is healing his fellow heroes, “All I Want for Christmas is You” plays.

Many heroes, such as Tracer, Mercy, and even Reaper, are enthusiastic about this change. They love the holiday season and can’t wait to celebrate.

Others, like Soldier 76 and McCree, are furious. They already hated Lucio’s music and this is much worse for them. They believe that Christmas music is to be played on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. That’s it.

Many think that the people opposed to Lucio’s new music are actually on the Naughty List.

Is Lucio’s celebrating Christmas a little too early? We don’t think so. Party on, Lucio.

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xXxSniperGhostWarriorxXx Resigns Amidst Sexual Harassment Allegations

xXxSniperGhostWarriorxXx, from lan, Toolz will resign from his position as Vice President due to allegations of sexual harassment.

The allegations were brought to the President of the Toolz clan, who is actually xXxSniperGhostWarriorxXx’s mother. She had this to say,

“I am deeply saddened by this revelation. I don’t know why he would behave in such a grotesque fashion. I would think he would be more respectful of women, I mean he has an older sister, a younger sister, and a girlfriend! I just don’t, I just don’t know.

Many of the allegations accuse xXxSniperGhostWarriorxXx  ofmaking obscene and crude remarks to females via Xbox Live. Four of the claims came from fellow clan mates who recall xXxSniperGhostWarriorxXx direct messaging them nude pictures of himself and his action figures.

 

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Sly Cooper’s Tips For Holiday Shopping

Holiday shopping can be tough, especially on your wallet. That’s why we reached out to our favorite raccoon for some holiday shopping tips to make sure you get the best discount around…the five finger kind.

Here are Sly Cooper’s Tips for Holiday “Shopping”.

1) Bring a Van

Storage is key. You want to be able to bring all the stuff you get at stores back to your secret hideout.

2) Proper Gear

If you plan on succeeding, then make sure to come well equipped. You’ll need some type of camo, black paint or a mask to disguise your face, and of course a cane.

3) Friends

A heist is only as good as the people behind it. First you’ll need someone to operate the van as a getaway driver. You’ll also need someone who is good with computers. You know, hacking and all that. Both will be vital to your approach as well as your escape.

4) A Potato Sack

This will obviously be used to stash your loot.

5) Act Quick and Make Sure No One is Looking

At the very moment you “buy” your item, take a quick glance around the room to make sure no one is looking. Then stash it into you potato sack as quick as possible.

There you have it, a comprehensive guide to holiday shopping from none other then, Sly Cooper.

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Steam Sales- Everything is $69

This past cyber Monday, instead of offering the usual sales, Steam decided to round off every price to a clean $69.

This is lower for some games but much higher for some, as in, free games being sold now for $69. Some fans rejoiced, as games and all their bundles were being sold at $40 cheaper than usual, but some decided to just wait until this sale was over to download free games.

“Heh, sixty-nine.” Steam CEO stated, after being asked about the increase.

Does Steam CEO is gay? Even if he is, we still love and support Steam and hope that they’re comfortable coming out of the closet.

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Overwatch Thanksgiving Ruined

Every year for Thanksgiving, the Overwatch crew joins together to give thanks to each other. However, this year was not like the others.

While gathering around the table, each hero had the task of saying what other hero they were thankful for and why. Zenyatta thanked Orisa for her shield, and Orisa thanked Zenyatta for healing her.

Things, “went south,” as McCree likes to say, once it got to Genji. Genji thanked Mercy for always reviving him, and Mercy thanked Genji for always running too far behind enemy lines and getting her killed because she was trying to heal him.

Genji stood on top of the Thanksgiving table and drew his sword, touching the tip of his blade to Mercy’s nose. “I do not want any lip from you, pretty girl.”

Roadhog, frustrated about having to wait even longer to demolish mounds of turkey and stuffing, drew his gun and blasted Genji’s sword right out of his hands. This resulted in an all out brawl between various heroes, letting their anger out after years of frustration from working together.

The Brawl ended with no casualties, but the mood was dark and grim. Black Friday had started at the Overwatch Thanksgiving at just 6pm on Thursday. Some heroes say this is way too early, and just about everyone in the world agrees.

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E.T. re-release announced for the Atari Jaguar

After the outstanding success of the original E.T. for the Atari 2600, the creators of the game have decided to make a re-release, with updated graphics and the same bugs – just for the Atari Jaguar.

“We weren’t going to re-invent the wheel on this one, we just wanted to acknowledge the success of the original game by updating it and porting it to a slightly newer system.” Head Developer Tyler Ryler stated.

The game still has the same, pit-falling glitches as ever, same people hunting you down, and same level of difficulty, just in amazing 64 bits with the Atari Jaguar.

Do the Math!

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PSA: The New Bench Is Finished

Isabelle, chief secretary to the Mayor released a memo announcing that the latest Public Works Project has been completed.

The long awaited bench took much longer then expected. The project was initially supposed to take a mere two weeks, however due to the anti-sitting party,  was on the back burner for nearly two months.

Despite the delay, the bench was pushed through in the 11th hour by our honorable Mayor.

According to the memo, the public reveal of the bench will be at 3 pm, this Friday. Let us know if you’ll be there!

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Team Rocket to Vacation in Alola This Year

SAFFRON KANTO (BFN) With the release of Pokemon Ultra Sun and Moon (Pokemon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon?) today it seems the islands of Alola have become quite popular for tourists and Pokefans alike. It has become so popular that even the evil (subjective) organization Team Rocket has decided to take over the Alolan Islands.

Team Rocket will be making their way to Alola this fall but it appears it is not for business but rather pleasure. Locals of the Melemele Island noted that members of Team Rocket have appeared in droves but were not equipped with Ekans or Zubats but instead had pool tubes and sunblock. one local who wished to remain anonymous stated: “all these funny looking guys and gals who were dressed the same started showing up looking for hotel rooms or places to eat. It was quite fascinating and I was unaware that this was an evil organization from the Kanto and Johto regions.” they also went on to say: “look, they don’t seem like bad guys to me. They’re respectful, clean up after themselves and are helping local businesses.”

We here at BFN reached out to Team Rocket for comment and received a statement by one of their executives Proton: “we here at Team Rocket decided that it was time to give our employees a break. They work so hard all year to make our organization what it is and are the very backbone of this operation. So we here made a decision to reward all the hard work with a nice tropical vacation to Alola. This is by no means a ploy to obtain new Pokemon or attempt any kind of hostile takeover. I have said all that is needed to be said and I hope they enjoy the time off.”

We reached out to the leader Giovanni for comments but were unsuccessful in our attempts.

More on this story as it develops.  

 

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