Tyler ‘Ninja’ Blevins Cuts Carbs From Diet, Internet Sharpens Guillotine

The Internet gathered together last night at an undisclosed location to once again sharpen their guillotine. The meeting was in preparation for the beheading of streaming giant, Tyler ‘Ninja’ Blevins, who once again finds himself at the center of controversy. This time it for his questionable decision to cut carbs from his diet.

“I don’t eat carbs anymore,” Ninja told us when we harassed asked him at a recent event.

This proclamation is certainly surprising to hear. For all intents and purposes, Ninja seems to be in good health, unless of course, your consider the shade his hair has turned. But above all, who can resist carbs!

“They are making me feel bloated, sluggish, and I’m even gaining some weight,” Ninja added.

Research has shown that an excessive amount of carbs, specifically refined carbs can have a negative impact on one’s health.

According to our sources, the sharpening of the guillotine went smoothly, with the usual jury of twitter followers also present. However, the guillotine operator did recommend to the Internet that it look into purchasing a new machine soon, as the current one was significantly over its recommended use.

Of course, with the sharpening of the guillotine also came the inevitable opinions portion of the program. The always bloodthirsty Internet had various takes on Ninja’s decision to exclude carbs from his life. Opinions ranged from those who believed that carbs were ultimately to blame, while others accused Ninja of being a foodist.

One prominent YouTuber, Carbs4lyfe, tweeted, “It’s already extremely difficult for carbs to exist when everyone is trying to get healthy.  Having a prominent streamer say he is cutting out carbs is problematic to us. Why don’t you use the huge audience/platform you worked to achieve to support all movements, including carbs!”

Fellow Internet personality, Jordan Nagam, known for her prominence in something that ultimately anyone can do, defended Ninja by tweeting,

“I don’t blame Ninja. He can choose to eat whatever food he wants, it’s his diet!”

Ninja has yet to comment on the Internets reactions, Additionally, there is no word yet as to where and when the beheading will take place.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Scientists Find Cure For Ligma, Ninja Recovering Nicely

In the eleventh hour, scientist Rosalind Lutece and Robert Lutece were able to find a cure for the deadly Ligma, an illness and lack of skill which had been plaguing the streaming community. Shortly after the discovery, the Luteces took the cure to Tyler “Ninja” Blevins, one of the streamers who had recently come down with Ligma. According to reports, Ninja is recovering nicely and should return to streaming within the next few days.

We will be updating you more on this mysterious disease Ligma, so be sure to check back soon.

Twitch Streamer Preemptively Prepares Twitter Apology For When He Uses A Racial Slur

Up and coming streamer, Trevor ‘Samurai’ Nevins, has finalized his preemptive apologize to the drafts section of his twitter account.

According to our sources, ‘Samurai’s” apology addresses his sincere regret for using the N word during his live stream. He states that it was a “moment of weakness”, one where he “forgot he was live streaming.”

In part 3 of a four part tweet, Trevor states that he understands more then anyone how much pain that word causes. He then continues to say that there was no mal intent and so that it must be okay.

After the use of the N word, Nevins followers is expected to double in size.