Founder and leader of Columbia, Zachary Hale Comstock has extended an offer to President Trump to come live with him in the floating city in the sky.
Comstock stated, “President Trump would enjoy our way of life”. Of that we have no doubt, Comstock.
No word yet on whether President Trump will take Comstock up on his offer.
In the eleventh hour, scientist Rosalind Lutece and Robert Lutece were able to find a cure for the deadly Ligma, an illness and lack of skill which had been plaguing the streaming community. Shortly after the discovery, the Luteces took the cure to Tyler “Ninja” Blevins, one of the streamers who had recently come down with Ligma. According to reports, Ninja is recovering nicely and should return to streaming within the next few days.
We will be updating you more on this mysterious disease Ligma, so be sure to check back soon.
Last week we reported a story in which ‘Dragon Energy’ was spotted popping up all over the globe. We have now compiled a list of individuals, who also posses this same Dragon Energy.
Another wild week in the world of video games, check out some of the top headlines!
Columbia (BFN) – We have uncovered the truth behind Kanye Wests recent controversial behavior. It turns out that Mr. West and Zachary Comstock are in fact, one in the same.
The news was broken to us from various Taylor Swift’s across multiple realities. She informed us that over the course of Mr. Wests life there was a crucial moment in which his life split into two, very different paths. One path leads to what we are witnessing now, the Comstock version, while the other would have let Kanye West live a peaceful life, one where he would continue to make gospel music. One of the Taylor Swift’s even mentioned that she would one day go on to make a collaboration album with this Kanye.
Taylor Swift parted with tears in her eyes saying she would have to go back to the baptism to set things right.
It’s that time of the week! (Plus one day)
Hope all enjoyed the weekend festivities and behaved in a way that would make the Presidents proud. This weeks Mount Rushmore will focus on the great leaders in the video game world who rally, lead, teach and be taught.
Without further ado:
Comstock (Bioshock Infinite): A true leader of men. Comstock built himself a paradise in the sky with only the elite of society. He was a preacher to the masses and lead humanity the closest it has ever been to a true Utopia. His only flaw was that he could not get out of his own way.
Giovanni (Pokemon franchise): The leader of Team Rocket and the Viridian City Gym leader. His recruiting methods for Team Rocket were worth their weight in gold nuggets and bridged the gap between them being a small scale operation to being feared by all in Kanto and Johto regions. He also used his role as gym leader to challenge trainers to be the very best.
Donald Trump (WWE 2k18): As reported here last year, the current President of the United States was added to the WWE 2k18 roster. He is both a leader of the free world and of the wrestling ring. Tough on crime and on the Luchadors. He will elbow drop hate and his opponent for the three count.
ShoTGawDX23 (COD Party leader): To round out this list is the leader of my own personal Call of Duty party leader. They are the most skilled and has the highest kill-to-death ratio (KDR) is the higest in the party. Their ability to no scope snipe kill or utilize a good corner to hide in is something to be admired. They will bark out orders like “stop dying n00b” or “I’m gonna have (sexual relations) with your mother”. A true motivator and will handle a loss with grace and civility often messaging an opposing teams player to congratulate them with strong language as a way to say good game.
As always, make sure to let us know your own personal top four Rushmore.
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