A child in Brooklyn has filed a lawsuit against Epic Games claiming that they stole his youth.
In his lawsuit, the child, Andre Davis states that on numerous occasions he skipped out on playing with his friends in favor of staying home and playing Fortnite.
Davis is asking for a sum of 3,000,000 V-Bucks.
“Look, the proof is right in front of you,” cried flat-earther, Nelson Davis.
Nelson, age 12 has become somewhat of a champion in the flat earth community. He has a thriving YouTube Channel and an Instagram Page dedicated to providing evidence that the world is indeed flat.
“I’m not really a gamer,” Nelson told us over the phone. “I just tried this Fornite game everyone is talking about at my friend’s house.”
During his first attempt, Nelson was immediately vanquished because he’s terrible at the game and landed right in the heart of tilted towers.
However, during his second attempt, Nelson stumbled upon something truly remarkable…at least to him.
“This game is realistic in every way, right? So why is the map flat and not round? Because the world is flat.”
When he pressed Nelson’s logic, telling him that the map was merely made up to only represent what was available in the game, Nelson refuted and hung up the phone telling up it was past his bedtime.
Chances are, you’ve either heard of Fortnite, or are actively playing it right now. However, Epic Games’s biggest hit of 2018 is fading fast, and falling to irrelevancy. Battle royale games are inherently fun, but it’s difficult to stay strong in the ever evolving and changing franchise of video games.
Specifically, Fortnite has become a game that is becoming increasingly harder to introduce someone to. Unless you are an experienced player, if you pick up the game at its current season, chances are you won’t last longer than a few minutes in your first fifty matches.
Because of this inaccessibility, Fortnite is going downhill. They aren’t going down without a fight, though, and may have a few things to learn from their predecessor, PUBG. With their newest season bringing in unique, fun and goofy methods of destruction, Fortnite is struggling to bring a new, quirky spin to the battle royale formula in hopes of keeping their place at the top. Besides, who doesn’t want to kill someone with a plunger bomb?
Your cousin is now allowed to play video games, and with that, he or she will talk at you about such video games. Here is a list, in no particular order, of the games that they are most likely to talk about.
Battle royales are the future, at least if you ask Treyarch. Get ready for them to tell you about their kill ratio, and be prepared to make up a number for yourself. We suggest 4 kills per game, to aim for an average that still sounds impressive.
One of the only “horror” games that your cousin will play, besides Slenderman of course. Your cousin wants you to know how the story should be interpreted. Only God knows when the discussion over the series will end.
We’ve all played at least a little bit of Minecraft. It’s a fun game, with lots of things to do, like build buildings, and build weapons, and build armor. The issue is, whatever you’ve built, isn’t enough for your preteen cousin. They will hunger for more. They want to know if you have all the latest updates, if you beat the story mode, if you understood the ending, and if you’re going to dress up as Minecraft Steve sometime in the near future. This is the talk to end all video game talks. You may never see your cousin if you tell them that you didn’t even know Minecraft had a plot, let alone an ending. Our only advice: Good luck.
Check out some of the top stories from this past week!
Yesterday, Cliff Bleszinski announced via Twitter that he would be shutting down his studio, Boss Key Productions. The announcement took gamers by surprise as they had no idea that Bleszinski was the man behind, Lawbreakers.
“Lawbreakers? Shutting down? I thought you were working on Gears of War 5!?!?!?,” replied one Twitter user to Cliff’s statement.
The outpour of stunned fans continued,
“If I had known Cliff was behind Lawbreakers then I might have actually tried it.”
“I thought you retired after you left Epic? Gosh, I wish I knew you had your own studio!”
“So does this mean that there won’t be a Gears of War game shown at E3?”
Cliff has stated that he will be taking a break from video games once again. You can read his full statement here.
The Fortnite factory experienced a massive overhaul of Porta-Forts as their factory in Moses Lake, Washington was switched to “MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE” instead of “OFF” when leaving for the night.
Epic Games has since distributed the Porta-Forts across America in attempt to combat homelessness. The forts have provided a solid shelter for many people. The citizens of America who have received this fort have sent their infinite gratitude and thanks to Epic Games.
“It’s the least we could do. We’s be in serious debt if it wasn’t for the millions of people utilizing our micro-transactions within Fortnite” the President of Epic Games says.
Who would’ve guessed that micro-transactions would save people’s lives?
With the success of Fortnite for the consoles and with the release of it for IOS systems and with Android coming on the way, there seems to be no end to the popularity of the game. It seems that Epic Games wants to take it a step further by announcing that they are working on a version of the game for the TI-84 Plus calculator.
This is causing some teachers around the country to worry about the ability for children to learn. One algebra teacher, Mrs. Smith proclaimed online about the announcement “This is the worst possible news we could learn. Children these days are so focused on their games and stopping it on phones is hard enough! Now we have to worry about kids looting corpses instead of learning Trigonometry or Calculus . This world has truly never been more insane.”
Another teacher who asked to remain anonymous had a different take by telling us “look kids don’t care much for math anymore. We need to realize that there are different forms of skills and careers and that a kid in the back trying to win a game is not gonna be anymore interested in math with letters just cause we took away their fun.”
There seems to be a split view on this game and it will be interesting to see going forward if the individual schools will be proactive in combating video games in school or if the Government will step up with regulation.
We reached out to Epic Games to see if there was a timetable for the release of the TI-84 version as well as how users will be able to obtain the game. A representative for the company stated that it would “Take a few fortnights before we’ll see the game start to roll out on future devices.” As for how it will be released they went on to say “…well much like the direction of gaming these days, the calculators containing these games will be randomized.”
Players are constantly looking for ways to kill their enemy without taking any sort of damage and going through their precious healing and shield supplies. What better way to win a game without a scratch on you than nuking every other player on the map?
The new weapon is best used in squads or duos because there is no friendly fire. The player simply fires the weapon into the air, killing every enemy as well as themselves. The player and their teammates enjoy a nice easy win and can quickly take a picture of it to post on their Snapchat story.
This is a fantastic addition to the increasingly popular game of Fortnite. We wouldn’t want video games to take any sort of skill in order to secure a victory, right…? Right?
Paying homage to the wildly successful pirate manga/anime, One Piece, Epic Games revealed that there is a similar treasure hidden deep within Sea of Thieves.
“You want my treasure? You can have it! I left everything I gathered together in one place. Now you’ll just have to find it,” tweeted, Gol. D. Roger, head of PR at Epic Games.
However, Epic did not reveal any clues on how players can obtain One Piece. But fortunately for you, with some investigative journalism, we’ve been able to deduce exactly what you will need in order to get your hands on One Piece.
First, the player must find and subsequently devour the rare, ‘Devil’s Fruit’. Second, the player must purchase a straw hat IRL.Next, the player must gather a crew of misfits to join him/her in their venture.Finally, after an exorbitant amount of time sailing the seven seas, the player will stumble upon One Piece when they realize that One Piece is about the journey and not the destination.
BFN 
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