Raccoon City (BFN) – We have received word that the world renowned, Umbrella Corporation is working long and hard on securing a vaccine for COVID-19.
“Obviously we have the experience and resources to combat this strand of the coronavirus and we will do everything in our power to eradicate this virus”, said an Umbrella Corporation spokesperson too BottomFeederNews.
Seems like we can all rest easy knowing that Umbrella Corporation is on the job…
We are receiving reports that a substantial amount of ‘Dragon Energy’ has surfaced all across the globe.
‘Dragon Energy’, which was first brought to light by Kanye West, is a type of metaphysical energy that for the most part is attributed to morons.
Below is a list of locations where Dragon Energy has spiked over the past 24 hours:
Columbia
Hanamura
Celedon City Casino
Windhelm
Raccoon City (BFN) – Someone closely involved in the search for Amazon’s second headquarters has revealed to us that Raccoon City is a leading favorite.
Since it’s destruction, the city has been recovering nicely. Reports indicate that there only a handful of flesh-eating zombies wandering around. Furthermore, the virus has all been contained.
No word yet on how Umbrella Corporation will respond to having a competitor in their very own city.
BFN 
You must be logged in to post a comment.