Raccoon City (BFN) – We have received word that the world renowned, Umbrella Corporation is working long and hard on securing a vaccine for COVID-19.
“Obviously we have the experience and resources to combat this strand of the coronavirus and we will do everything in our power to eradicate this virus”, said an Umbrella Corporation spokesperson too BottomFeederNews.
Seems like we can all rest easy knowing that Umbrella Corporation is on the job…
It is such a shame to see Capcom remove square people and singular directional shooting.
Chole Dykstra, online personality and cosplayer, has revealed that a former boyfriend had been mentally, emotionally, and sexually abusive to her throughout a three year relationship.
Given Dykstra’s public persona, many have named fellow Internet/TV personality, Chris Hardwick, as the alleged abuser. However, BFN has not independently confirmed these allegations.
Regardless, we have compiled a definitive list of individuals who are far better than, Hardwick Ms. Dykstra’s alleged abuser (we got you, Chloe).
M. Bison (Street Fighter):
He takes on people in fights fairly and has his own money.
Dr. “Eggman” Robotnik (Sonic):
He built robots for animals to look out for them.
Psycho Mantis (Metal Gear Solid):
He may be psychotic but is honest about it and secluded himself to Shadow Moses.
Albert Wesker (Resident Evil):
He actually runs a successful business with talented workers. Leaves personal matters out of the work place.
Sweet Tooth (Twisted Metal):
He may be a crazy clown but at least he can make people laugh.
Nathan Drake (Uncharted):
He never married for money and was always honest with his female companions.
Watch out for falling Spiny!
Raccoon City (BFN) – Someone closely involved in the search for Amazon’s second headquarters has revealed to us that Raccoon City is a leading favorite.
Since it’s destruction, the city has been recovering nicely. Reports indicate that there only a handful of flesh-eating zombies wandering around. Furthermore, the virus has all been contained.
No word yet on how Umbrella Corporation will respond to having a competitor in their very own city.
BFN 
You must be logged in to post a comment.