gamespot – BFN

BREAKING NEWS: Findings Reveal Dr Disrespect Is NOT An Actual Doctor

Twitch Medical School (BFN) – After combing through countless records at every medical school known to man we have uncovered that famed Twitch streamer, Dr. Disrespect, or Guy Beahm is not an actual doctor.

This news comes just as IGN, Gamespot, The Verge, and many others report that Twitch has permanently banned Dr. Disrespect from using their platform. At the time of this story, the reasons for the ban remain unknown. In regards to his ban, Dr Disrespect offered only a vague tweet as seen below:

https://twitter.com/drdisrespect/status/1277060051744591872?s=20

We do not believe that Dr Disrespect’s permanent ban from Twitch stems from his lack of a Doctorate.

PSA: Other Villagers Are Sick of Your Shit

Your Island (BFN) – We have just received word from your neighbors that they are sick of your shit.

Specifically, other villagers are fed up with all the constant changes, the noises late at night or early in the morning, year-round construction, constantly replacing villagers, the way you look at them when you are near a money tree, and how fast time goes when you’re around.

Rumors suggest that there will be a secret meeting tonight to discuss your immediate removal.

M.Bison Announces Bid for 2020 Presidential Election

Feeling right at home amongst the current candidates, M. Bison has just announced his bid for the 2020 United States Presidential Election.

According to the official Stree Fighter Wiki, M. Bison’s qualifications include the fact that he is “motivated by his own self-serving interests and lust for absolute power. He is a megalomaniacal and psychopathic dictator and terrorist who seeks to rule the world with an iron fist whilst also being universally regarded as the greatest and most powerful martial artist of all time”.

Furthermore, M. Bison possess “a vast ego and a god complex, however, Bison is physically incapable of feeling empathy for others and even takes pleasure in watching people suffer at his hands, never feeling a shred of regret or remorse for the numerous atrocities that he has committed”.

Wow, sounds familiar.

BREAKING NEWS: Blathers Fired For Sleeping On The Job

Your Island (BFN) – We have breaking news that museum curator, Blathers has just been relieved of all his duties.

The news comes from Tom Nook’s daily announcement, who cited Blathers’ propensity for sleeping on the job as the primary reason for being canned.

Rumors suggest Blathers’ sister, Celeste may take up the mantle. More as this story develops.

Middler Schooler Afraid Of Running Into Classmates At Detective Pikachu Screening

It’s okay, we’ve all been there.

Tag: gamespot