Street Fighter

M.Bison Announces Bid for 2020 Presidential Election

Feeling right at home amongst the current candidates, M. Bison has just announced his bid for the 2020 United States Presidential Election.

According to the official Stree Fighter Wiki, M. Bison’s qualifications include the fact that he is “motivated by his own self-serving interests and lust for absolute power. He is a megalomaniacal and psychopathic dictator and terrorist who seeks to rule the world with an iron fist whilst also being universally regarded as the greatest and most powerful martial artist of all time”.

Furthermore, M. Bison possess “a vast ego and a god complex, however, Bison is physically incapable of feeling empathy for others and even takes pleasure in watching people suffer at his hands, never feeling a shred of regret or remorse for the numerous atrocities that he has committed”.

Wow, sounds familiar.

Fifa World Cup All-Video Game Team

The Fifa World Cup is underway and the eyes of the Futbol world are on Russia. With the first round drawing to a close, there has already been excitement with Mexico beating the favorites in Germany and Croatia dismantling Argentina to advance to the next round.

There has yet to be a team that has established themselves early on as the favorite to win the tournament. That has lead to the idea being proposed of creating an 11 person (or creature) squad from the video game realm that would dominate these games and win the World Cup. Unlike Fifa, this team will not discriminate based on gender of species.
This team will be running a 4-4-2 formation. This means there will be 4 defensive players, 4 midfielders and 2 strikers or attacking players. As a fan of the World Cup only I am told once every four years that this is the optimal lineup. There will also be the goalie listed whose job is to protect the net and stop the other team from scoring.

Goalie:
Whomp (Super Mario)– He has speed and size to block any shot. He works alone at times and has the aggression that a great goalie needs to succeed. The only problem is there are issues with lateral quickness.

Defense:
Waluigi (Super Mario)- Tall, quick and has experience in competitive sports and team activities. Unlike a certain video game franchise, we do not overlook his value.
Hitmonlee (Pokemon)– Is an expert with their legs and has a head that would block any cross a team puts in the box.
Epona (Legend of Zelda)– Is very quick and big, has no arms so a handball resulting in a penalty kick is no issue at all.
Hydra (Dark Souls)– Much like Epona they have no hands but also many heads to help block shots and cover a lot of ground defensively.
Midfield:
Chun Li, Dhalsim, Blanca and M. Bison (Street Fighter)-

These four have chemistry together and that is key for a solid and productive midfield squad. Chun Li is proven to be good with her feet and kicking balls. Dhalsim has the length to help cover the field on any fast breaks. Blanca has the size of a defensive midfielder and the Brazilian genes to back it up. Finally M. Bison is a natural leader and with the games being in Russia may provide other advantages.
Strikers:
Phoenix Wright (Ace Attorney)– He is always on the attack and looks for any weakness in his opponent. Plus he has great Futbol hair.
Christiano Ronaldo (Fifa 2018)– The guy is the goat after all and is an easy choice for the team.
This is what the ideal Futbol team looks like. You do not have to like it but damn you have to respect it.

Video Game Characters Better Than Chole Dykstra’s Unnamed Absuer

Chole Dykstra, online personality and cosplayer, has revealed that a former boyfriend had been mentally, emotionally, and sexually abusive to her throughout a three year relationship.

Given Dykstra’s public persona, many have named fellow Internet/TV personality, Chris Hardwick, as the alleged abuser. However, BFN has not independently confirmed these allegations.

Regardless, we have compiled a definitive list of individuals who are far better than, ~~Hardwick~~ Ms. Dykstra’s alleged abuser (we got you, Chloe).

M. Bison (Street Fighter):

He takes on people in fights fairly and has his own money.

Dr. “Eggman” Robotnik (Sonic):

He built robots for animals to look out for them.

Psycho Mantis (Metal Gear Solid):

He may be psychotic but is honest about it and secluded himself to Shadow Moses.

Albert Wesker (Resident Evil):

He actually runs a successful business with talented workers. Leaves personal matters out of the work place.

Sweet Tooth (Twisted Metal):

He may be a crazy clown but at least he can make people laugh.

Nathan Drake (Uncharted):

He never married for money and was always honest with his female companions.

Video: Capcom Discovers Another Way To Milk Street Fighter

Mueller Indictment Names Vladimir Makarov, Olga Gurlukovich And A Few Others

Last week, Robert Muller and the Special Counsel Investigation released an indictment charging 13 Russian citizens. We caught a glimpse of the indictment and have released the names of the Russians involved in the attempted undermining of the United States below:

Olga Gurlukovich

Psycho Mantis

Revolver Ocelot

Sergei Dragunov

Sofia

Vladimir Makarov

Zangief

Zarya

Monday Mount Rushmore: Bachelors

It’s that time of the week again!

With Valentines day on the horizon and love being in the foggy air, we decided this week to focus on the bachelors of the video game world. So ladies (or males) out there make sure to take notice of this one!

Without further ado:

Bowser(Super Mario): Up first is the reptilian villain from the Super Mario franchise. Most would not think of him as being a catch but he is someone that never gives up on love. He tries time and time again pitching woo at Princess Peach in the hopes of winning her over. Hey Princess, either open your eyes and realize you have a catch, or he may end up in another castle.

Dr. Light(Megaman): Ah yes the creator of our favorite blue robot, Megaman. He is a man of technology and cutting edge design, a Silicon Valley type. He is also caring by giving Rockman life and also a great pal in Rush. He also stops the evil Dr. Wily time and time again and cares for the people of 20XX. Let’s not forget that beards always look good.

E. Honda(Street Fighter): Robust is still a sign of beauty and power right? Anway, here we have the sumo fighter E. Honda from the Street Fighter franchise. He is a well off professional athlete that will always go for the absolute best. It should also be noted he has very fast hands and are good with them.

Sephiroth(Final Fantasy/Kingdom Hearts): Long hair, cool clothes, killer voice and a long sword. Women love him, men want to be him.

Did we miss anyone? Let us know!!

Breaking News: Zangief Banned from Street Fighter V: Arcade Edition

Character Select Screen (BFN) there is unexpected news in the gaming world, Capcom has just announced that Russian fighter Zangief has been banned from the recently released Street Fighter V: Arcade Edition. The move comes after it was learned that Zangief had failed numerous drug tests over a four year span. This comes on the eve of the Winter Olympic Games which saw the Country of Russia being banned for wide spread alleged drug use.

A Capcom representative put out the following statement:

From this moment on, Mr Zangief will be barred from this current game and any new games moving forward. His actions are a clear disgrace and a mockery of our institution and do not reflect the noble spirit of competition. He has let this franchise down, his fans down and more importantly; his fellow competitors down.

When asked for a comment, Zangiefs attorney, Howard Levinbred stated that “these allegations are completly false and I have never even seen any hint of a failed drug test”. He also shifted blame to others by saying “if he (Zangief) were guilty, do you really think he was the only one? I mean look at the other fighters; this is a harsh sport and everyone looks for any advantage whether it be long arms or energy balls.” He ended by saying: “…look this is a wide spread issue with cheating and my client is the scapegoat for all of this.”

There will certainly be more to this story, so stay here for all updates.

Street Fighter’s Ryu and Sakura To Start Fighting Monsters

5 Candidates Aside From John Cena Who Could Play Duke Nukem

Reports have surfaced that famed WWE wrestler/actor, John Cena is in early talks to portray loud mouth, no bull sh*t, video game protagonist Duke Nukem and for all intents and purposes, we’re on board! We love John Cena, however just in case it falls through, here are five other candidates who should be considered for the role of Duke Nukem.

1) Ivan Drago

Olympic Gold Medalist and amateur boxing champion, this 6ft 5 inch behemoth of a man has not only the physical prowess, but also the no b.s. mentality needed to bring Duke Nukem to life. He just needs to work on that accent.

2) Guile

The transition from Street Fighter combatant to Duke Nukem would be quite easy for Guile. He’s already a military man, has goofy hair, and basically wears identical clothes to Duke. They even share that deep, all American voice that no one I’ve ever met has.

3) My friend, Nick

Short tempered and ill mannered, my pal Nick would make a fitting candidate to don the the Nukem shades.

4) Ron Perlman

C’mon, do I really need to make a case for the guy?

5) The Soundboard

Perhaps the most deserving of all the names mentioned, the Duke Nukem soundboard (and this lady) have already provided countless hours of entertainment. Let’s give them a shot at the silver screen.

Tag: Street Fighter